So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
