Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
