I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
