just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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