I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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