is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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