And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
