i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
