I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
