in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
