He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what day is it and did you see me today?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
