Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
