One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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