I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
