When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
