I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
