When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
