You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
