i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My feet surprised me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
