At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
