lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
