I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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