I just cut my nipple shaving
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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