I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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