in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
