If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
