He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
