the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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