from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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