NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
