Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
