Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
