these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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