Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
