Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
