I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
