just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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