i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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