I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize