now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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