I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
