So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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