Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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