go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
