dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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