Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
