I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
