One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
