I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
