Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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