We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
