a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
