So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
