My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
