But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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