just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
