you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
