Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
